How To Wear Your Confidence

Cover photo by Alyssa Strohmann on Unsplash

To wear your confidence, it’s essential to know your inner power.

Though several external aspects play a significant role in achieving complete confidence in oneself, these external factors are just bonuses. I believe that the foundation of confidence comes from within, not just from our resources. For some people, purchasing branded clothes and owning pretty clothing isn't enough to make them feel confident. On the other hand, some people can wear their confidence despite wearing cheap and unbranded things. Thus, the only way to have a favourable view of oneself is to start from within. 

As an only girl with three younger brothers, it took me a long time to build myself and my confidence as a woman. When I was in grade school, I had a boyish style, but I knew in my heart that I loved drawing pretty clothes, though I never imagined myself wearing them. I remember when I was a child, my mom took me to a photo studio to get my photos taken. She got mad at me because I wouldn't smile at the camera when they attempted to take pictures of me. I was shy and gloomy. I also didn't care about what I wore. I was not too fond of the idea of styling my hair and doing my make-up. Whenever I try looking back to those scenarios from my childhood, I still can't believe how much I've changed (in a good way) since then. I didn't want to surround myself in the spotlight back then, so I always kept myself isolated from people. But right now, I don't even care when people look at me when I take pictures in public. It wasn't my intention to change myself; rather, I gradually discovered who I am as time went by. With that in mind, let me share some tips that helped me progress to wearing my full confidence wherever I go.

Surround yourself with good people

This might sound cliche, but surrounding yourself with people who uplift you and encourage you to be better does help a lot in building your confidence. It’s not about being positive and hearing compliments all the time. Instead, it’s acknowledging that you’re a work in progress, and your flaws do not define your capability. Exposing yourself to people who perceive things this way is good for your mind and soul and will surely boost your confidence.

Stop comparing; focus on improving

Whether it be your strengths or weaknesses, there’s always something about it that you can enhance. Life is a never-ending learning journey, and it goes the same way with your character development. You’re probably aware of this already, but balancing your time on social media is a good habit you need to keep, especially if you’re the type of person who gets easily affected or influenced by what you see online. Instead of comparing yourself to others non-stop, start looking at yourself in the mirror and ask these questions:

1. What are my greatest strengths? How can I take advantage of it?

2. What are my weaknesses and insecurities? How can I fully embrace it?

3. Do I get bothered a lot about what other people think about me? If yes, where is the thought coming from? How can I prevent this habit?

4. Apart from worldly things, what matters to me the most?

5. How can I keep the right pace so that I won’t get lost along the way?

6. Do I love myself enough to let go of things that are not good and only take in the energy that helps me grow? 

Practice self-talk or self-reflection

Some people find it hard to show their vulnerability to other people, and I deeply understand that as I was before. However, I realized that there's no need to hide those weaknesses from yourself. It's okay to be honest with how you feel; it's okay to feel bad for yourself from time to time, and it's okay to embrace the dark days of your life. I was the type of person who always bottled my emotions as I wanted to look strong all the time, but it didn't get me anywhere. In fact, it made me feel worse. 

Ever since I started practicing self-talk and self-reflection, I slowly achieved the peace of mind I've been looking for. Believe it or not, I talk to myself a lot now. I let myself be free of feeling things and appreciating them. That way, I became happier and confident as a woman. You can do that, too! You can begin with small talk, and eventually, you'll realize that you're becoming closer to yourself after consistently doing it. 

You can say things like:

"The weather looks good today."

"I'm so tired after doing all that work. I deserve a treat!"

"I think this is the perfect time for coffee. Should I go on a date with myself, or should I try asking my friends if they're free?"

"I feel so gloomy. Hmm, how about we play a sad playlist and devour this sad day?"

Never hesitate to share things with yourself, whether it be about a happy day, a dull morning, or a tiring evening. Sometimes, verbalizing it makes it a little better; it's as if you have a person beside you who will always be there to listen. Sounds fun? Go for it!

Know your forte

Have you thought about your power pose? What’s your favorite style? What are the things you do that make you feel more yourself? To wear your confidence, it’s essential to know your inner power. Most of the time, seeing someone being dedicated while at the same time having fun doing things they like truly makes them attractive. Apart from knowing your strength, wearing your confidence is also about how you present yourself. It’s easy for others to see if someone is confident or not by simply looking at how they walk and talk to people. Sometimes, there are things that you overlook that other people see.

With that in mind, I believe the best way to improve yourself  is to look at yourself in the mirror. Then, you’ll know what might not be for you or what looks good on you. It won’t be bad to practice some power poses, too - that helps a lot in building your confidence!