A Quarter of Mental Health and Femininity

They say ‘it takes a village to raise a child’, but it also applies to being a mom" is one of the lessons that Iris Toon realized as a mother. Giving birth and having a child isn't an easy role to have because it's not only about the child's growth but also the mother’s. 

Meet Iris Toon, the founder of The Fourth. Iris was born and raised solely in Edmonton and has lived her whole life in the town. She got married in 2012 and became a mom of three wonderful children. 

Iris launched The Fourth, a maternity clothing store for mothers, which caters to women during and after pregnancy. The Fourth stands for 'the fourth trimester,' which happens during the first three months after the baby is born. During this time, not only do new mothers go through enormous changes in terms of body and mind, recovering from childbirth and hormonal changes, but newborns also try to adjust to a new life outside the womb, figuring between day and night. As many new mothers do not have time to fully recover from their childbirth and transition to being a mother, many of them experience postpartum anxiety. The Fourth was created to bring comfort to mothers and advocate for maternal mental health through fashion. 

Simply, Iris Toon 

As The Issue Magazine interviewed Iris, she told her story about who she was, starting from herself, her business and her mental health journey. 

In the interview, we asked Iris to describe herself in her own words. 

“As a child of God, I am beautifully and wonderfully made," Iris said. "It is my job to learn who I am to be the best me that I can be." 

Iris believed that she is assigned to discover her own passion and creativity because if she doesn't discover those things, she'll be only a shadow of her own self. Iris added that she is someone who loves to help people. 

The idea of The Fourth started with Iris’ first pregnancy. Iris couldn't find anything she wanted to wear. She couldn't find any clothing that suited her minimal style, affordability, and quality. With this, Iris thought that she should create a store that could go along with her taste and the taste of other mothers. 

People always used to say that there is always a rainbow after the rain falls, and for Iris, it's true. Along the way of Iris’s harrowing journey in her mental health, she found something very valuable—she found her dream and mission about empowering mothers. 

Iris was already diagnosed with postpartum anxiety when planning her business. She realized that her experiences had been a huge factor in her life. During this time, Iris rediscovered her love for fashion. Iris believes that she's more than a mom, and she is capable of doing more things beyond her limits. 

"I can show my girls that I have a dream," Iris said. "[And] I went for it to start a store." 

Thus, The Fourth was born. As it matured, The Fourth wasn't only a clothing brand for pregnant women but was also out on a mission to empower mothers both in fashion and advocacy for maternal mental health. Iris’s experiences with her mental health journey also played a massive role in creating the store. 

All About The Fourth

Iris owns and runs The Fourth by herself. Every business should have the authenticity of its products. The Fourth has its authenticity when it comes to their clothing. 

Iris mainly chooses spandex and tries to find sustainable fabrics for the materials of The Fourth. Stylish clothes aren't enough, so Iris always chooses comfortable and fitted styles for her store. 

The Fourth's manufacturers are excellent. As Iris wanted to support local Canadian businesses, she decided to support those local businesses through her shop. The leading manufacturers of The Fourth are three Canadian brands. Iris believes that it is significant to support local, women's/moms' businesses as well; thus, what works and what fits her customers. 

There are different reasons why mothers must like this store. One of those reasons is the originality and difference of The Fourth from other maternity stores. 

For Iris, stylish and comfortable clothes that would last longer are necessary. The products of The Fourth are fashionable and trendy. It has basic and neutral designs that are in trend these days. The store's products are comfortable and cozy. 

Iris knew that mothers think ahead and want to save money. So, Iris made sure that the products of The Fourth would last longer. Women would still keep wearing these clothes even if they were not pregnant anymore. 

Iris concluded that the small shares of The Fourth would go towards supporting the maternal mental health program of Lois Hole Hospital for women. By supporting The Fourth, the maternal mental health program for women also gets supported. 

Mental Health is Wealth 

Iris shared her experiences concerning her mental health and postpartum anxiety. Iris had experienced postpartum anxiety when she had her first kid, but she never felt it as her family and friends supported her. However, when Iris had her third kid, her postpartum anxiety kicked in.

When the mental health of somebody declines, it is common for them to experience depression and anxiety as a result. So, Iris felt like everything that was going on with her life was challenging to handle. The idea of having three kids was too challenging to grasp for Iris - there are also days when she still feels overwhelmed, upset, or angry. 

Iris became overwhelmed by the things happening to her, especially on her third maternity leave. Iris would yell at her kids for something they'd done. She didn't intend to hurt her kids, but she realized she wasn't regulating her emotions well. She was losing control of her words and actions. 

"This isn't me," Iris stated. "I need help." 

Iris recognized that she was not her old self anymore, so she had the courage to go to a therapy session to work on herself. When the time had come for Iris to have her first counseling session, it played as a wake-up call. 

During the sessions, the counselor kept asking Iris several questions concerning her identity, her passions and joy, and lastly, her self-care routine. Iris finally realized that she had taken care of her kids for so long, and had lost something precious with this journey: her identity. 

"I no longer knew what my purpose was or what I like to do, [and the things] I enjoyed," Iris concluded. 

Iris also had a reason to step out of her comfort zone and make changes during this journey: by being at rock bottom. She wasn’t happy with the outcome of herself during this journey. Iris decided to make a change. 

"I need to change," Iris explained. "If I don't do something about it, this will get worse." 

In the end, Iris realized a thing in this therapy session: to take care of her mental health and herself in general. 

"I have to work on myself because when I'm a better Iris, I can be a better mom," Iris added. 

“I wanted [my kids] to see a mom who knows what she loves to do," Iris concluded. "[A mom] who goes for her passions, her dreams, and her goals." 

Through Iris's story, mental health is indeed a wealth that each and every person must have. Having a healthy mind isn't only for individual gains, but also for the well-being of others around you. Iris learned so much in this journey of hers. 

"Believe in yourself." Iris concluded, "I would tell that to myself over and over again every single day." 

Iris is still on a mission to research more about women's maternal mental health. Many mothers have difficulties talking about their maternal mental health. So, starting from The Fourth, Iris wants the mothers to connect and be comforted during their difficult times. 

Connection is the Way for the Right Direction 

Adding more stories from what Iris tells us regarding her business and mental health journey, connections to oneself and people could lead many individuals in the right direction. 

Postpartum anxiety is a sensitive topic that must be difficult for mothers. Iris started small connections with herself, then with a small group of people. Iris was able to talk about postpartum anxiety freely. 

She connected with herself first in this journey. When Iris got diagnosed with postpartum anxiety, she sat and dwelled in it by herself first. 

She then talked to only one friend during that time, and her friend also had postpartum anxiety. Iris had the realization that her friends were going through the same thing, and she wasn't alone in this difficult time. Iris also realized that there might have been stigmas around maternal mental health. 

After that, Iris felt empowered and began talking to more people and other mothers about it. Iris started connecting with more mothers and through this connection, felt validated through her friends and community. 

As Iris concluded her story on her website, life is much easier when your family and friends support you. Indeed, connection with other people could be one of the ways for the right direction in life. 

"We just need someone to be there for us." 

A Piece of Advice 

As a parent, Iris realized that putting herself first is the most significant thing she could do. It is common for many parents to put their children first and themselves last. However, Iris stated that "when you take care of yourself first, you take care of your children in the best way." 

Iris believes that mothers become a better version of themselves by doing this. Mothers shouldn't only raise children, but they should also be good role models and inspirations to them. 

Lastly, Iris noted the following piece of advice: 

"Love yourself for who you are. Discover who you are and be the best person you can be—our mental health and the roles you assigned yourself does not define you." 

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Visit https://www.the-fourth.ca/ to check out the products that The Fourth sells. 

Follow The Fourth on social media: 

Instagram:  www.instagram.com/thefourthca

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thefourthyeg/